Size Does Matter

One time when my friend Brian and I were at college in Albuquerque, New Mexico, we were playing a game of truth or dare. All of our friends were there. Chris, Alberto, Alan, Becky, James, and Jennie.

We were a bit bummed that there were not enough girls there, but we weren’t too bummed about it because the guys were really cute. Anyways so we started with a simple truth question to James. He was embarrassed because we asked him how big “he” is.

When he responded with "I don’t want to tell you." we knew something was up. He was embarrassed about his weenie size. Since we are in The United States of America, the culture has a really high standard for penis sizes.

We knew it was high pressure time. We gave him a "pass" on this truth because we knew we'd just get him back later with an even more embarrassing dare. SO his time came around again and we made sure to get him good this time. We dared him to show everyone.

He wasn’t going to again because he was too embarrassed but we just told him to do ait anyways and he really didn’t want to because he was so shy and was small - but we persisted and eventually he did.

When he finally did what a surprise it was! It was huge after all. This whole time we made fun of the poor kid only to realize he was “better equipped” than any one of us!

The girls basically passed out because they’d never even seen such a large thing. And the boys all had a look of amazement of their faces.

I guess we all just had a great day that day because we all had looks of joy on our faces at the end of the day because we were such a close group of friends after that.

A swimming class that is etched in my memory forever. When I was a college I needed to take a course to fulfill a physical fitness requirement. I am not a particularly athletic person, and most running, jumping or team sports sounded unappealing.

I decided taking a swimming course might be an easy to complete this requirement since I knew how to swim. This was a good plan as swimming was for the most relaxing and we were not pushed too hard. All was going swimmingly well in the class, until one day the instructor asked us if we wanted to try platform diving.

Everyone in the class seemed excited by the idea and decided to give it a try. I was caught up in the team spirit and without really thinking it through followed everyone to the three meter platform. Once I was on the platform looking down it looked pretty intimidating.

The water seemed very far away.

I kept letting the other people pass in front of me.

Everyone in the class jumped and swam to side watching the next person in line.

Eventually I was the only one left, with every single person in the class watching me.

I went to the edge and after a long look down jumped in, feet first.

The flight down took a very long time and then I felt my feet hit the water with a great deal of force. I went down like a rocket, with the water rushing around me.

After I bottom out, I felt going back up with what seemed just as much force as going down. The water rippled around me and to my horror I realized that my swimming suit is being ripped off me by the water force of the water rushing down as I was I was ripping back to the surface.

I was able to gasp a big lung full of air and then dive down to retrieve my swimming suit, mooning everyone in the process as my bare ass surface on top of the water.

Luckily I was able to grab my swimming suit by the strap and then pull it on while grabbing to the side of the swimming pool with the entire team of classmates roaring in laughter.

My husband, Alan Ricardo, is a school teacher and each year, we have decided to have his fellow teachers over for a bonfire at the end of the school year.

In the past, only his close teacher friends came to the bonfire, but this past year, his principal and vice-principal also attended.

Many of us had young children. Everyone came to our rural home located in London, Ohio on a Friday evening. The weather was beautiful, the kids were getting along well and playing well. We gave pony rides to the kids on our horse, and in general, we were all having a fabulous time.

Once it began to get dark, we roasted our hot dogs and made our S'mores. As we gathered closer to the fire, we started to tell stories.

All of a sudden, my five year old son gets an empty beer bottle out of the trash and says he wants to play truth or dare or spin the bottle.

Our guests began to laugh and make jokes about "that's Ricardo's kid, he's just like him."

Finally our son convinced all of us to play one round of truth or dare. Each person is getting silly dares and questions, and then it is the principal's turn.

She is a heavy woman and she chose dare. My son dared her to run to the road (down a hill about 200 yards) and back holding a Tiki-torch, singing "we are the champions!" Once we all stopped laughing that he even knew the song, she agreed to it.

We laughed so hard to see this professional woman, running at night, holding a Tiki-torch singing "We are the Champions."

Still when I think of Truth or Dare, I think about that night and how hard we laughed.

It was such a great time and we all just had some old-fashioned, innocent fun!

During a trip with some friends in high school, we decided to play a game of truth or dare to get to know each other better.

We had been good friends for years, but had all kind of moved into the area over the span of a couple of years. One of my friends Darren was up (his turn) and we played where you knew the question and the dare.

His dare was he had to go jump in the lake, naked, or he had to tell us what his greatest fear was. He hesitated for a couple of seconds and he said: "Honestly, if I take the dare, I am going to wind up telling you, my biggest fear is drowning."

We all temporarily sobered, up, until he said: "I probably should have mentioned that I was drowned by an alligator or crocodile since I passed swim lessons a long time ago". We all burst out laughing because we had thought he was being serious.

He rarely went swimming with us during the summer because as we later found out he had a skin condition which made him sensitive to light and he burned really easily. We went around again and we came to Darren again.

This time we asked him to climb a tree naked (I still don't know why my friend Luke always made naked a part of his dares) or he had to tell his what girl in our class he fantasized about most. He thought it over and said: "I fantasize about Ms. Schultz."

We all burst out laughing because there were two Ms. Schultz's at our school. One was the old secretary and the other was her daughter, a special education teacher. We ragged on him about liking the secretary because the special education teacher was 25 and very attractive.

We had a lot of fun and thought that razzing on each other was as good as anything else.

When I was about nine or ten, I had a few friends spend the night for my birthday. We did the usual things, played some games, ate some cake and some normal kid things.

Eventually, we started playing truth or dare. Me, I always like a good dare. However, I agreed to do the dare before knowing what I was agreeing to.

The words out of my best friend Jimmy's mouth were "paint your parents' car." Are you serious? Paint the car? I'd be in trouble until my next birthday.

I refused it straight away, and everyone else started dancing around me telling me I was a chicken, and that if I didn't do the dare, I had to go eat worms and blah blah...because that's what chickens do.

I'll tell you right now, I've never eaten worms. I went into my parents' basement, and pulled out some house paint, and a roller, and hauled it all out to the backyard where my father's truck was.

Pine Mountain Green. I poured the paint into the tray, and started rolling it onto the truck. My friends looked at me and laughed. I don't know what they found more amusing, the fact that I was doing it, or the fact that I was so meticulous about it.

It took me about two hours, but finally my work was done. To finish the job, I ran inside and grabbed a black permanent marker to do all of the little decals and pin stripes.

I colored in, with black marker, the Nissan logo on the back of the tailgate. I stood back and looked at my work and realized, but one painful truth. Once my Dad came home, I'd be grounded until I could buy whiskey.

My friends all left, and I hid. I hid where my parents would never think to find me...inside my own toy box. My mother came and found me, and I didn't realize she had caught me green-handed.

She hadn't known what I had painted yet. I knew for sure my Dad would know. My mother made dinner, and I sat there, on the kitchen chair, awaiting my sentence. My Dad came home, thundering into the living-room.

He pulled me off the chair and stood me up. As my eyes met his, I felt a knot in the back of my throat. He said to me some words I will never forget for the rest of my life. "You painted my truck.

Do you know what that means?" Do you know what he said? I'll tell you. He looked at me and said: "The fact that you did that, got me an extra $100. I bought you a Nintendo."

He handed me the Nintendo and I was flabbergasted. It turns out, he was selling it. I hadn't known this at all, and the paint job beforehand was pretty awful. It was rusting, but I didn't know that meant anything when I was a kid.

It turns out, the person who came looking at it thought it was much nicer than initially described, and bought it instantly. My friends always wondered how I got the Nintendo, and I never told them.

One time when I was about 25 years old, a group of us got together at my house. There was a group of about 10 of us, both boys and girls. At the time, I lived Bolingbrook Illinois, in an apartment complex which had many buildings and hallways.

My apartment was a basement level apartment with a good view of the courtyard and the surrounding buildings. We were all drinking beers and playing drinking games. Sometime later in the night someone suggested we play truth or dare.

The game was progressively getting more risqué as the evening went on, probably due to the fact that everyone was intoxicated. Soon, the truth or dare was asked to my friend Jason. He worked as a mail man at the time. He chose a dare.

We dared him to go outside naked, carrying only a purse as a mail bag. We asked him to go door to door to all of my neighbors houses, reach into his “mail bag,” which was a purse, pull out the mail, and deliver it to all of my nearby neighbors.

Jason stripped down to nothing but a nice ladies purse as a mail bag. He loaded up with a stack of papers we used as mail, and ran out the door of my apartment, down the hall, and outside. We all giggled and ran to the window as he ran outside, watching him run around the complex delivering the mail.

He took the dare to a higher level, because instead of simply going door to door, he ran outside screaming, “I’m picking up the mail, and putting it in the box.” He made several circles around the complex, screaming and tossing papers, completely naked until he was out of mail. He came back into the building, out of breath and out of mail.

One day at my best friends party we played a dare game that was blown out of portion. We spun a wheel to see who went. There was a score board and you had to have a co-signer who helped you with the dare and to prove you did the dare.

First dare was me and my friend John. Our dare was to walk to the nearest fish market and get the biggest fish there and then go to a restaurant and walk in grab urinal cakes put them in each other's mouth, then walk up to the host and ask if they could cook it up for us.

We were kicked out instantly. Next were Collin and me. We had to go into Walmart wearing chicken suits and buy 10 bottles of lube and a slip and slide and set it up in the parking lot and slip and slid on it.

Then had to go to five different people and give them hugs even though we were soaked in lube. After that go down get bikes and ride them around and tell employees that we were test driving and drive into the bathroom.

Last, play bumper cars with carts and joust with nerve swords and the carts with fake ponies on them.